Press & Media
Toronto Sun
On your mark! Get set! Date!
By VALERIE GIBSON
Picky, picky, picky.
That's singles today. And I'm one of them.
Years ago, it was enough that a prospective partner was reasonably attractive, had a good sense of humour and was available. Now the "requirement" list is the length of a roll of paper towels and someone isn't acceptable unless every box is checked.
Never mind soulmates. People are looking for supermates.
Singles justify it by stating they "won't settle for less" and "I'm worth it" — whether the latter is realistically balanced against the list or not.
This has been exacerbated with the growth in popularity of dating websites where requirements are plainly put. The message is often blunt. Don't contact me if you don't fit my needs.
You'd think with the difficulties of meeting and dating today, this would be easing up. Relax your expectations. Look deeper. Be more open and flexible.
Not at all.
If anything, it is getting even more demanding.
Singles are now insisting on very specific physical characteristics when it comes to the person they want to date and have a relationship with. There's already a number of dating websites that offer rich men such as wealthymen.com and sugardaddies.com, cougar websites for older women and younger men such as cougarlife.com, and literally thousands of websites catering to those with lifestyle or sport needs — everything from bondage fans to golfers.
However, there's a dating trend now where singles want people they contact to conform to even more specific requirements, such as height and ethnicity.
It's an area that's being explored via speed dating by a new arrival to the Toronto dating scene, fastlife.ca, a company whose slogan is "Speed Dating With Style." It organizes diverse events in 43 cities in five countries (Canada, U.S., Australia, New Zealand and the U.K.).
They are also being promoted by Canada's online dating giant Lavalife and are holding events Sept. 27, Oct. 24 and Nov. 15 for age groups varying from 22 to 40.
The difference with these particular events is that the male participants have to be over 6-foot. "Women generally prefer taller men than themselves," says Liv Judd, events manager for FastLife, "especially tall women." But she adds that tall men don't necessarily have a preference in height for their partners so there's no necessity for female speed daters to be any special height.
Tall is in demand
Judd points out that tall men have become increasingly in demand in recent times with the fashion for very high-heeled shoes for women such as those by Manolo Blahnik. This has meant that women can tower above men nowadays.
"Women also perceive height-advantaged men as being more successful," she says, "which is borne out in business statistics."
FastLife events (age range is 19-60) are by invitation only. You have to register first at fastlife.ca and fill out a detailed questionnaire.
"Registrants are all offered invitations but, obviously, only those who fall into the required group — age or height or whatever — will want to attend that particular speeddating event," says Judd.
"Even though being specific about certain qualities and physical aspects of a prospective partners has always been a strong factor in dating, there are definitely more ways now to take advantage of this," says Lori Miller, spokesman for Lavalife.
Be specific
She points out that with the Lavalife website, people can do a "search" setting out their specific requirements but has some words of caution for singles hunting for a special partner.
"Having very specific requirements can be very restrictive," she says. "When someone finally finds their ideal mate, they often discover they're opposite to what they thought they required. After all, it's all to do with chemistry between you."
She advises those on the hunt nowadays that if they want to find someone special they should try to be "more open and flexible," otherwise they may miss some great people who might be perfect for them.
But it's agreed among professional dating companies that one area where most single women won't adjust is in height.
They want a man to be at least similar height or, preferably, taller than themselves.
In other words, size does matter after all.
